To Your Daughter About Monogamy: How To Make It Special
Tips for Discussing Monogamy
1. Be Honest - It might seem more difficult to be honest about certain factors of relationships, but you will be doing your daughter a disservice if you do not explain to her that many teenage boys are primarily interested in one thing. Make sure that you impart this information in a realistic way so that your daughter does not end up thinking that you are simply trying to scare her. For example, you could consider letting her know how many people you dated in high school before you settled down. This can clue her into the fact that most high school relationships will not last forever, but it will also help her learn that monogamy can be much less physically and emotionally dangerous.
2. Give Her a Promise Ring - As part of your discussion, you should offer her a promise ring with the intention of reminding her to remain monogamous and save herself for someone who is truly special. Once she puts the promise ring on her finger, she will always have a physical symbol to look at when she feels tempted to make impulsive decisions about sex and love.
3. Keep the Lines of Communication Open - No matter how committed your daughter is to the idea of investing herself into relationships that are monogamous, it is still likely that she will end up making some poor decisions. Therefore, you should let her know that you will always be there for her, regardless of the mistakes that she makes. By keeping the lines of communication open, it will be much easier for you to determine if she needs assistance keeping herself safe. After all, it is more responsible to make condoms available than to metaphorically stick your head in the sand until you find out that she is pregnant or has a serious STD.
4. Select a Neutral Environment - Many parents choose to have discussions of this nature in their teenager’s bedroom. However, it can actually be easier to have this talk in a neutral space such as the living room as long as you ensure that no one else is going to be home. In order to ease into the conversation, you can share a meal or special treat together.
You will need to give your daughter the necessary room to make responsible decisions after she accepts your promise ring, but this does not mean that you should stop inquiring about her life. After all, continual communication is the best way to help your daughter stay safe.
With two daughters and two sons, Melanie Fleury hopes that monogamy will be an easy choice to make for all of them. When it is time to have “the talk” , Melanie will incorporate a promise ring into the conversation so that her children will have a physical reminder of what they have been taught and what the options and consequences of their actions could be.
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