I recently reconnected with a friend that I was once very close to.  We had met during that blissful time in our lives when we were not yet mired in the responsibilities of life, but old enough to be dangerous.  A time I like to lovingly refer to as my Junior College years.  We were two Catholic girls, out to have fun and meet boys.  And that we did.  Along the way, we sang a lot of Edie Brickell at the top of our lungs.

Eventually, I moved 45 minutes away to attend college.  Our lives took different paths, and we lost touch.

When I saw her name come through on a LinkedIn invite, I warmly remembered all the fun times we had together, two young adults taking their first steps in a grown up world.  Being good girls from a small town, our parents trusted us to make smart decisions as we ventured out to discover all that the world had to offer.  Taking full advantage of that trust, we made the most of her Karmann Ghia, driving 50 miles each way, every weekend, to enjoy Hollywood’s finest entertainment:  The Florentine Gardens, The Palace, and The Palladium for dancing, The Roxy and The Whisky for rocking out.  These were the days of Stevie B and White Snake, and a trip down Sunset was sure to find a venue to suit every need.  Restaurants were open late into the night, and we had many early morning breakfasts with friends who had been complete strangers only hours earlier.

Two girls, one beat up VW, a night of clubbing, breakfast with strangers, and a 2 am drive home on 50 miles of freeway.

How stupid were we???

I was a quiet girl, from a good family, with a good head on my shoulders.  Yet I made stupid decisions.  Repeatedly.  All in the name of having a good time.

When I think back to all the different ways our adventures could’ve ended up, it terrifies me to know that my kids are going to try this kind of reckless stuff when they hit that age.  I must’ve had an angel sitting on my shoulder, and I don’t doubt she worked some long hours, because I pushed my luck on more than one occasion.

If the apple doesn’t fall from the tree, then we’ve got many sleepless night ahead of us.

My boys are 12, 10, and 6, so I still have some time before this worry becomes a reality.  But it will happen, of that I’m certain.  Despite their different temperaments, I take no comfort in the fact that at least one of them might make the right choices in their early adulthood.  I was the practical, well-behaved one in my family.  Lot of good that did me.  It only made me more adept at shielding my parents from my antics.  Which is now my curse, because my eyes are completely wide open with regards to my kids.  I have no false sense of security with which to ease my worried mind.  And worried it is.

Youth is a hard nut to crack.  Show me a nineteen year old who truly heeds the advice of his parents, and I flat out won’t believe you…or him.  Ok, I exaggerate.  But my point is that young adults are driven by things other than their common sense.  It’s this unpredictability that has me planting seeds of “responsibility” and “accountability” and “consequence” in my boys while they’re still young enough to think Mom knows it all.  While they’re still young enough to heed my advice.

As my 12 year old heads into his teenage years, it’s evident that his devotion to me is quickly being replaced by other interests.  So I cling to the moments that he still shares with me, and I do my best to guide him without being obvious about it.  He would say that I’m about as subtle as a two by four, and he’s probably right.

I sense the hardest years are still ahead of us, as my boys move towards independence and I’m forced to let go.  They’ll make mistakes, and they’ll have lapses in judgement.  I can only hope that the legwork we put into them in their early years pays off, and that they let their conscience be their guide.

And for those times when they feel like driving 50 miles on a sleepy brain, I pray there’s a guardian angel hanging around to keep them safe.

About the Author:

Tanya Doyle is the thinker behind Original Thoughts of an Unoriginal Thinker.  By day, she’s a full time drone in the corporate world; by night, a full time referee to her three sons.  ADHD and Perimenopause are doing a number on her brain, and her blog has borne witness to it all.

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Originally posted 2012-03-26 12:31:04.